BAND OF ANGELS

This is just a quick note to say I did 80 lengths in 104 minutes today (Saturday), or 2k.
It's so much better when the pool isn't crowded and I don't get hung up waiting for much slower swimmers. But there's no way I'm even close to getting into the medium lanes. Those are usually for freestrokers.
Swimming is such bliss.
xo

Well, angels, I've lost 1.5 more pounds, which puts me at 272.5, for an overall loss of 74.5 pounds.
As usual, I'm inching toward 270, my latest goal. It seems the longest wait before I reach these kind of milestones. Curses, Red Baron!
God is teaching me patience again; I'm afraid that's one of my many shortcomings. However, clothes are looser, so Dorothy and the swimming are packing more muscle on me. There's some solace when inches drop but not pounds but, boy, I do like to see those pounds vanish too!
I have an appointment next Saturday for a fill of 0.25ccs, so I'm praying this will be the final one. It will be only my sixth, so I'm feeling good about it. I think that the liquid in my band is 6.25ccs now. I went back and checked my datebook, but I'll make sure when I see Nancy next week. She has it all stored in her computer.
Until then, enjoy August. I hope everyone gets a chance to unwind and see friends and family. I also hope the humidity breaks and we have sunny, cooler days. Bless you all.
xo

Andy and I were blown away by Kyle Gartshore's hot routine to a very hip O Canada on CTV's So You Think You Can Dance Canada.
Last night's show (Wednesday) featured hopefuls from Vancouver and Saint John.
Kyle was magnificent and was unanimously sent through to Toronto for the next round. I know Dorothy and Neil are very proud of him.
These days, my highest praise is: He's sure got cartilege!!!!
Not to mention all that talent. Wow. He's an awesome dancer.
Congratulations to his parents for the gene pool, and to Kyle for diving in and putting all the pieces together so beautifully.

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More news from the pool: Today I was aiming to add two more lengths to my swim, but the amphibious Deb was more ambitious than that, so I wound up doing 70 lengths in 95 minutes. That's 1.75k or 10 lengths away from 2k. Tomorrow's a Dorothy day, so the landlubber part of me gets to fight gravity while holding weights and doing resistance exercises.
One thing I've noticed this time is that the weight is coming off my stomach faster than previous times. I never could get a bath sheet completely around me, but now I can, though it tends to gape a bit when I'm sitting to get dressed. Before when I was swimming, I was dieting improperly, almost starving myself, and allowing myself an occasional binge. Now I'm eating less, but in a healthy way, and I allow myself the occasional treat on a Friday night, usually a milkshake. But not every week.
This is so much better. So, again, I give all my angels the credit and my heartfelt thanks for taking this journey with me.
xo

In pool news, I am up to 62 lengths (a weensy bit more than 1.5k) in 83 minutes. Not bad for the newish me. I give all the credit to Dorothy and the strengthening she's done. Without my knee muscles getting extra workouts from her, I'd be dead in the water, so to speak.
I've ordered myself four new T-shirt dresses from Decent Exposures in the States. I'm going to see if I can get my other two, both 1Xs, taken in. The new ones are size large, in 100 per cent cotton. I've ordered teal, royal blue, red and hot pink.
And I've sold a batch of clothes that are too large now, even though I never wore them, and that will cover a little less than half the cost of the new dresses, so I don't feel too guilty.
I'm very good at guilt.
I had wonderful times at the receptions, one from the Shallhorn side of the family (my dad's) and the other from the Weishuhn side (my mom's). The first was for a niece; the other for my cousin's daughter. Both are Chris's age, with about three months separating the birthdays.
I have decided I am not ready to be mother of the groom just yet. I know I'll have to apologize constantly to any daughter-in-law. My slogan will be: I'm sorry. I did my best. I leave him in your hands now.
This mainly applies to house chores and a lack of a feminist perspective. He believes in all the proper things, but when I see or hear something sexist and comment on it, he gives me the "Huh?" look.
I think testosterone rots their minds. Still, I'll go on with my efforts until it's time to pass the torch.
He's now at a friend's rented cottage in Muskoka for several days -- bet he'll help Dan's mom there -- and then is back to head to California via Philadelphia on Monday for four hard interviews on Tuesday at Google. I don't think the candidates get much chance to eat. They are split into groups and herded from one site to the next. Then he's home Wednesday and hopefully will have a job offer that will put him just outside San Francisco (too far away!!!).
Now I'm trying not to worry about "the big one that's due anytime" and fault lines and California being heaved into the Pacific. And Chris doesn't even have a job offer at this point! I'm also very good at worrying.
In the meantime, God bless everyone with good health and happiness.
xo

With two wedding receptions this weekend, I'm time-challenged.
So, here goes:
1. My weight remained the same after last week's huge drop. I expected this and was relieved it hadn't gone up.
2. Everyone loves my new red dress (courtesy of Lis and our shopping expedition). In fact, I have to wear it again today (so ordered by my sisters and parents, whom I have to trust on this one, because I don't think I look good in anything yet).
3. Dorothy had me using 10-lb. weights for some exercises on Friday, which really worked the muscles. So, kudos to her for my progress! I also intend to do some exercises standing up asap.
4. I purged a closet and four drawers of old clothes. I got a shock when the woman at the store measured me professionally and told me my bra size was 42". I had only 46-50s. Out they went. I've given away four bags of clothes to needy women, and I'm selling on cheapcycle the ones that still have tags on them, for best offers.
5. I don't use my walker in the house any more, unless I'm really, really sore. I can't go for more than about 100 feet, and I lurch like a penguin, but there's no getting around the fact that I have no knee cartilage.

That about wraps up the daily news. Keep tuning in -- you never know if I might have something to tell in midweek. If not, see you here on Friday. Be well, angels.
xo

This is just a quick note to say my left eye is strained enough that I haven't been able to swim or be on the computer for more than about five minutes at a time, and I also did not remember to weigh myself upon waking today.
By the time I did remember, I'd had my workout, sipped down 12 oz of Crystal Light water and eaten my lunch.
So, I'll try to get on again before I leave for my niece's wedding reception tomorrow and get some info for you.
xo

As you know, I had 0.5ccs added to my band last Saturday. Being on full liquids on the weekend wasn't too hard, but I was burping a lot and tasting bile (a sign that the band's too tight, apparently).
On Tuesday, after half a day on solids again (and being able to eat much less than a cup), I started to vomit. I decided the tightening of the band had bruised the stomach and decided to wait it out.
By Wednesday, as I was set to go swimming, I felt worse and had a sense of heartburn. I looked up the fill sked and decided a trip downtown that day was better than going north and east when the nurse would be in Markham and Scarborough for fills.
So I booked an emergency appt with Nancy, the fill nurse, at the "downtown" location, which is not at the clinic. It's at Dupont and Avenue Rd. I set off about 11 a.m., figuring I had lots of time to pick up Nat at 1:30.
But with the rain and construction everywhere, I didn't arrive at the site until 12:15. There's parking there, but you have to take Bedford, then a side street and then a lane to get into the lot. There's no access from Avenue Road. And, of course, to make matters worse, the numbers were all even on the right side, then switched to the left side as I got to Dupont. So, after a long turnaround, I grabbed the final parking space in front of the building. But traffic was heavy and I had to wait for red lights to open my door, open the side door for my walker and then hurry around the van to avoid being hit by all the cars.
I made it to the sidewalk, and then was faced with stairs that fell outward, so the handles could not be reached with both hands. With my left hand, I pulled the walker up; with the right, I gave myself balance to climb the flagstones.
After I had climbed those eight or nine steps, I moved across a small patio to another set of about five steps, dragging my walker, and made it into the building. I registered about 12:15, but the fill nurse had till 1 p.m. off for lunch. She saw me first, discussed my symptoms and she tool 0.25ccs out for a total of 6.75 left in. I was able to drink water slowly but went back in an hour later to tell her I was still burping and water was coming up. She couldn't take out an eighth of a cc, and suggested that I tough it out with the extra quarter cc still left because the swelling would go away and things would improve. I called Chris and got my brother-in-law to get Nat. He was a sweetheart to do it for me because there was thunder and lightning, with lots of rain, and I had no way to get in touch with her.
I got the fill last Saturday because I could still eat a cup of food, but not get the sense of being full till a bit later, so I could eat another two ounces before the appetite satiation kicked in. I went home after the defill, arriving about 4 p.m. and feeling exhausted. I had two strawberries to try to loosen my bowels and fell asleep on the couch.
I had 8 oz of soup with cheese for dinner and a protein shake for a snack. The next day, I was able to eat about 6 oz. at lunch and dinner and drink more fluids.
Then came the constipation, which I described in my earlier blog.
I ate two 1-cup meals Friday and was pleased that both stayed down. I slept all afternoon after Thursday night's ordeal and missed my hair appointment, which has been rescheduled for 11:45 a.m. today.
Dorothy and I did some very good stretching exercises Friday to be gentle on my abused body. I did 40 lengths in 60 minutes at the pool Thursday, pushing my time limit -- and so the legs and arms had had some work, too.
I have to drop Nat and Andy off later this morning at the GO station for the Argo game, and then I'm off to get my hair done (after eight months!).
Then I'll return home and catch the rest of the Argo game, eat some fruit and wait to pick everyone up. If I work it right, there may be time for another nap.
Gosh, I miss Saturday night hockey. And it's still two months till the regular season starts. Maybe we'll go see the 3-D guinea pig movie. I really loved Harry Potter last week. Or maybe everyone will want a night at home. Either way, I'm easy.
So, now you have the main details of my week. Here's hoping the next one is much better, but also has a good weight loss. And as I fall asleep at my keyboard, I pray for a super long weekend for you all, and happy times with family and friends. See you next week.
xo

I've had an up-and-down week over all, but I'll go into details tomorrow, if I get a chance.
In terms of weight loss (there were some adverse physical reasons for this), I dropped 8.5 pounds to 274, for a total of 73 lost.
I'm really, really tired and sore after spending most of last night trying to relieve a case of severe constipation. I finally succeeded about 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off at 6:45, so I just got up. Enough said.
After I drop Nat off at school for her math exam (she's taking the course so she can have two spares in Grade 12 for bearing down on her studies), I'm going to try to catch a nap before Dorothy comes for my workout.
In the meantime, angels, have a truly excellent day full of love.
xo

I had a 9 a.m. appointment this morning for my next fill, which was another 0.5ccs, but the post-op nurse was there to do the day's work in Mississauga, not the fill nurse (on holidays), and the high-tech gear would not work for her.
Luckily, one of the women waiting for a fill was an IT specialist, and she got it to work, though the system had deleted everyone from the sked before 10 a.m.
Anyway, the computerized scale showed me at 281.5, which means probably 280 (though I'm going with the first number) because when I'm there I'm fully dressed, minus shoes so the electronics can analyze my body through a special current.
So, I'm officially down 65.5 pounds. It's pathetic, I know, to attach so much importance to 0.5 pounds, but it is important for my mental well-being, and every little bit of good news helps to keep me focused and feeling better about myself.
And though I slept last night, it was for only 4.5 hours. I am going to go upstairs and do what my body keeps trying to persuade me to do. I am going to set my alarm and get another four hours of sleep, God willing.
They say you can't regain the sleep you've lost, but I'm running on fumes and sheer willpower, but I feel nervous and almost panicky, and am worried about getting sick because of it.
I'm sure all this is stress-related: In addition to other major worries, I have an appraiser coming Monday to assess the house and property for the bank so we can use some money from the equity in the house. The trouble is, last year's assessment from the province was $289,000, and the one for this year, done in late 2008, analyzed falling home sales and came up with a value that was $20,000 lower at $269,000.
I need the appraiser to come in at least at that amount now that homes are selling again. That's the trouble with the Ontario assessments. They can't react to any market changes when they occur. Sigh. I am still unable to paint (though when I can, the highest I'll ever be able to reach is 5'6", which includes my short arms) , strip wallpaper, weed or do any other yardwork, trim trees, clean and dust and fix floors.
So all the work that has been needed to be done for so long will have a bearing, too.
I feel powerless, and that's always raised resentment, frustration, guilt and shame in me, not to mention the big boy -- anger verging on rage. Throw in some tears, feeling overwhelmed and being depressed medically -- and bam!
I wind up so stressed that I can't sleep at all. The only place I find myself catching a nap is on the couch with the TV on. But I need real sleep -- wearing my CPAP machine and going down to deeper levels.
Andy has been helping my brothers-in-law this past week with painting, furniture assembling and disassembling, and other chores.
I think I need to hire his brother to come over and do some painting and other things for me. They are away this weekend, but I'll call when they get back. And maybe Phil can teach Chris some of the skills he's learned over the years, so he can do some work, too.
If we get the equity to use, some of it is earmarked for reducing other debt, for van repairs and some for fixing the house. It's not really renovations; it's just fixing what's been let go too long. I plan to buy the new paint that includes the primer, so that should cut down on the workload.
So, pray that the appraiser doesn't come down too harshly when he makes his inspection. We truly need this. The house and property basically need one of those old-fashioned barn-raising affairs. I have a friend from work whom I have told several times to plan a dry-wall bee; if he supplied beer and pizza, the whole newsroom would turn out!
Sometimes, despite what my kids think, the old ways are better. Of course, the part I like best about these group gatherings is the huge assortment and amount of food that accompanies them. You can take the woman out of unhealthy food, but you can't take some food fantasies out of the woman!
Be well, angels, and think good thoughts for me and the appraisal around 12:30 on Monday. xo

I got on the scale after my workout with Dorothy this morning and was down one pound to 65 after 19 weeks, to now weigh 282.
I had wanted to be at 280, but God keeps trying to teach me patience, and I just don't want to do it. It's sheer wilfulness on my part.
However, small victories are welcome, too. Part of the problem, I think, is that I have not been sleeping much for the past several days. Last night, I didn't even go to bed because I felt too awake, although extremely tired. I just wasn't sleepy and I didn't want to lie there in the dark, because Zeke can always sense when a human has his or her eyes open, and then he wags his tail, which thumps quite loudly, and he starts licking and then gets more playful and tries to chew the person's hand.
That wakes Andy up, and Zeke goes in for the kill. He jumps on him, wriggles madly and shakes his collar. So, I sat at the computer, read, watched TV, did jigsaws online, played Solitaire online, read email, sent email, sent voicemail and tried to feel sleepy. All I felt was exhausted.
After Andy left for work, I might have tried sleeping, but I had to wake up in an hour anyway to get Nat moving and off to her math course so she can have two spares in her final year. Thank heaven there's only next week to go.
The good news is that I'm going to go to bed earlier tonight and hopefully fall asleep quickly. I don't know how men do it. They seem to take off their clothes in one quick movement, and somehow slide into bed half asleep as they put their pjs or whatever on. By the time they hit the pillow, they're already dreaming.
My female friends and I get into bed, drowsy but still able to review the day in our minds, plan for the next day, mentally add to the to-do list and generally assess the family state before finally relaxing enough to fall asleep.
What gives? I asked my doctor once, and he said women usually did their worrying at the end of the day, when they had more time, and that we develop both sides of our brain more than men do. So I guess it takes longer for us to power off as the multi-taskers that most of us are. He said that's why women typically recover more quickly from strokes, because the undamaged side is able to adapt more easily to relearning because it was already being exercised. That's heartening for the golden years, but it's not helping me right now.
And I've been exercising a lot, five or six days a week now. Two days are Dorothy's workout, and the rest are swimming. I really pushed myself for speed yesterday, and did 46 lengths in 65 minutes. I did 42 in 66 minutes on Sunday, which was my previous best since I've been back in the water.
I also did a lot of walking yesterday, so today my muscles and knees are feeling some aches, but nothing serious enough for a Tylenol.
In fact, I'm typing and yawning so much right now that I have to go eat lunch and then maybe take a couch nap.
Tomorrow is my next fill, at 9 a.m. I'll head to the pool for 11:30 and won't push for a time record. Instead, I'll swim longer because I won't have Nat to pick up. So I will be going for endurance and give the knees some protection. I'd hate to damage them to the point where I wouldn't be able to swim. It feels too good to be back, and I have found muscles where fat used to be.
So, angels, have a blessed weekend, and I'll blog about my fill either tomorrow or Sunday. xo