BAND OF ANGELS

So, I got to have my pretend egg last night, plus baby food peaches (2 oz). I am supposed to take baby bites and chew each one for at least a minute. That's fine, but how do you keep your food warm when it takes 30 minutes to eat it? And I needed another 10 minutes for the peaches. And you are not supposed to drink anything till 30 minutes after you finish eating.
I could nuke the cooked food after every bite, but then it would end up so rubbery that not even the dogs would eat it. Well, yes, they would, but no one else would find it appealing. The peaches were not as fun as I remember baby food being. I think that was because they were still all being sweetened when Nat was a baby.
Bandsters are urged to go organic, which is great, but we have to eliminate all the sugar that we can. Plus, when I get to whole food, celery is basically a no-go because it is so stringy that no matter how much you chew it, it doesn't pass well through the band. That's also why it's recommended that you peel all your fruit -- apples, pears, peaches and the like. The skins tend to get caught, apparently. But that's where a lot of the nutrients are found.
I guess it will be the same for cucumbers and zucchini. So a few veggies with hummus will take some prep time and might mean dropping a lot of raw ones simply because they won't work.
For breakfast today, I got to have wide-flaked oats (4 oz) and 4 oz of skim milk. Well, that, too, got cold rather quickly. For lunch, it's more soup, vegetable this time, but it must be pureed till all the chunks and lumps are gone. Yogurt (4 oz) is on tap for an afternoon and evening snack, and dinner is a 6 oz meal replacement mix.
Actually, it will be a little more, because you add two scoops to the milk, and that adds volume. If you use less milk with the powder, you get a stiff paste, not a drink.
When I feel a bit more energetic today or tomorrow, I'll go online and see how others deal with the cold-food problem. I remember those old plastic baby dishes that you used to put hot water inside to keep the food warm. They never really worked, though -- and that was with the baby gobbling it all!
I can see now how this band will work. You simply won't ever want to eat cold food, so you will quit when the temperature goes down. That means about two teaspoons (six of my new bites) and you will feel done.
I'll be a skeleton by September! :O

Yes, I was naked. But, no, I was alone ... in the bathroom ... taking off my steri-strips. And there was no bump 'n' grind music. Sigh. So much for passion in my life.
I now sport a stomach of many colours, from purple to blue to red to orange to yellow. It's amazing what the strips revealed. And although two areas had a drop of blood ooze out, the holes are pretty much healed. In fact, they are now red slits.
Although I'm glad I'm healing, it was cool to be able to say I had four new holes. Somehow, having four slits doesn't have much pizzazz. It has a reptilian feel to it, instead. Ugh, although I do love frogs and turtles.
Meanwhile, before Dorothy puts me through my paces, I have three more days to make sure the slits stay closed.

Good morning, everyone. I have some updates for you. First, my glucose levels upon wakening have been 5.0 for the past few days, even while not taking one of my meds. Second, I have lost 4.5 pounds more, for a grand total of 18. Not large in the scheme of things, but encouraging all the same. Of course, I've been on fluids and will be till next Wednesday, but it all helps.
I'm more mobile in some ways; I can come down the stairs easier and walk a little farther with my walker.
However, that's baaaaaddd news for Andy and Nat, who are beginning to realize that Debbie the Clean is back in town, and she loves to organize. I think Nat can't wait to live on her own. But I let her keep her room as she pleases, and she has the basement for a nest, so whatever I don't see I can't complain about -- at least until I see vermin swarming up the stairs!
Yesterday, I sat on a kitchen chair for the first time in about 2.5 years and directed Andy on how to sort the pantries and move things around so we didn't have cans of soup piled around the microwave on top of one pantry. You wouldn't believe the things we found that we had to pitch. Luckily, we did it the day before compost pickup, so it didn't sit around for long.
On the weekend, I'm going to sort through a couple of drawers in the kitchen with Andy putting them on the table for me and then replacing them. I can't lift yet, so it's a tag-team event.
I had mentioned earlier that I was letting people in my life know gradually about the surgery, mainly because I didn't want to get my BP up before the operation and answer a lot of calls and email, and also afterward for the same reason, plus I was just too darn tired.
I'm online a little bit more and have discovered I need to buy a new ObusForme for my computer chair. I have a lovely one for the couch, but it has spread because of my weight, but it's great for keeping pressure off my knees -- and my stomach, too, at the moment.
Now I'm noticing that my back is very tired by the end of the day, so I'm going to get a new one to hold me up straighter while online. I tend to slouch because, being short, I have to sit farther forward so my feet can touch the ground. It's the story of my life.
Today, I'm going to enjoy the rain, even though it's horrible for walking dogs (poor Andy), and listen to some meditation CDs. I actually picked up a book yesterday for the first time in a week. I know I'm not quite right when I can't read. I haven't figured out how to read in the shower yet, so I can't wait till my knees will let me have a lovely, soaking bath. It's been three years and counting.
And as for showering, my caregiver was here to give me my first one since last Friday, and it felt wonderful. I had to keep soap away from my holes, which was a challenge, but I was able to do it with some contortions. Then we came downstairs and I made my protein meal replacement shake, cleaned the blender and put it away, while sitting, and got things ready to prepare 8 oz. of strained cream of mushroom soup for lunch. So pat yourselves on the back for enabling my success, and I'll do everything possible to keep these baby steps coming.

In the physical news dept., I am pleased to say my intestines are back at work after almost a week. It seems a meal replacement powder mixed with skim milk was a treat they couldn't resist passing along. However, it's taken something out of me and I'm very weary today. Tonight I'll be talking to my mom and dad from Florida, so I have to save my strength. I usually don't take calls during Leaf games, but I'll be a dutiful daughter and break my rule.

Maple Grove is such a caring, giving community that I thought I'd share one of my favourite ways of doing some payback. If you click on this site (to follow) you will be taken to a page that lets you contribute to all sorts of good causes by a simple mouse click. When you click the hunger button, you will get a second page that thanks you. Then simply click on the next tab at the top of the page (breast cancer) and that site will come up with its own button for you to click. Just keep moving along all the tabs after each click has been acknowledged and you will have contributed to several worthy causes in less than two minutes. You also can sign up to get daily reminders to click, even on weekends. I have been doing this every day for a couple of years, and it's just so neat to be able to give to help the world and its inhabitants. I've also shopped at the gift store, and it's a reputable place. Money from each item bought also goes to help the causes. But you don't have to shop; you can just click for free.
Here's the url: http://www.thehungersite.com/tpc/ERH_040109_THS

The whole project comes under the Greater Good Network: http://www.greatergood.com/

In other words, I need to write. It's a way of destressing for me, or a cheap form of therapy. This will be bits and pieces, no great insights, just doing a sort of mental detox.
First, though, I must thank Dorothy for using the word panache in her comment about me (the comment feature is now working, BTW). I love the word. I love the way it sounds, the way it looks, what it means and the way the lips move when it's spoken. I am a word freak: I love language and the nuances of words and phrases, the thoughts they evoke and the way they string together. I love using them, on paper and especially in their oral form. My uncle says I was moving my lips in the nursery when I was born and I haven't stopped talking since. This fact was included in his toast to the bride at my wedding, and everyone laughed! I mean, it was true, but did he have to bring it up?
I love the history of words, the elegance and even the vulgarity of them. And best of all, new words are always being created. Basically, I'm a word freak and language nut. So bear with me while my fingers run amok on my keyboard.

I had a long sleep last night, going to bed after the Montreal game (it affected the Leafs' status) about 10:45 or so, and sleeping till 9, with various wakeups during the night as Zeke (who sleeps with us) got up to go to the bathroom at 4 and then wanted breakfast at 5, which is his usual schedule during the work week. He hasn't quite grasped the concept of weekends yet. ... My glucose was 6.3, still good but higher than the 4s of the previous week. However, I am now off one of four diabetes meds (this one involves four pills in the a.m.), so I expect I'll be adjusting for a while. ... In a related issue, I've made as many of my screen settings as big as possible, but some things still come up in the smaller type size. I'm having Andy get a couple pairs of drugstore reading glasses to try, and if they work I can avoid the eye strain that was so painful last week. I'm not going for new glasses till everything settles, whenever that is. My old ones are great for distance, but the rest of the trifocal areas are not. ... I do wish I could have had Demerol when I got home (someone forgot to write me one, so I had to call Saturday to see if I could get one phoned in to our drugstore), but doctors cannot prescribe narcotics over the phone, so I got a non-narcotic painkiller that comes with the warning: EAT WITH FOOD! Wonderful, I thought, as I spend four days on only clear liquids. However, I have had three of them -- the most recent one this morning, and so far so good. The pharmacist warned Andy that the pills could be tough on the stomach, but I've guess I've toughened mine up through the years. It's had everything thrown at it and down it but the proverbial kitchen sink! ... Sometimes when I write here, I may be struggling with some private matter, involving friends, family or simply negative thoughts. It may or may not reflect in my blogging, but I still must contend with everyday life and my obligations, worries, private joys and sorrows, emotions and repercussions. I do need to be alone for long periods, time I spend meditating, praying, listening to rock, reading or whatever. I don't want my eating to take up all my thoughts and energy: I want it to come naturally, the way it is for "normal" people, simply part of my life, although requiring a different approach. ... I don't have any cravings, though this may change (I hope not). I'm sipping almost all the time, so much so that breakfast rolls into lunch, which rolls into afternoon snack liquid, and then comes dinner liquid and nighttime snack liquid, plus Crystal Light water for those times in between. I have no time in between. If this were alcohol, I'd be dead drunk all the time. The idea is not to get my digestive juices stirring yet, so the band remains in proper position. ... Tomorrow I will be taking off the gauze on my holes (that's something I never thought I'd write) and letting the steri-strips remain in place for several more days, or until they fall off by themselves. I hope if that happens that I am aware of it, or Zeke will no doubt think it's some kind of food. Purdy would probably just sniff it, but then again, she's eaten many socks in her life, not to mention Barbie clothes, washcloths and kids' underwear. ... I'm glad the Leafs weren't mathematically eliminated from a playoff spot last night. My dream can live on. I'm not sure I even accept mathematical elimination. I know math is an exact science, but I don't admit that the Leafs are out until the season ends and I see they don't have an opponent for playoff games. And it's a long, long wait till training camp. There's only so much Leafs TV you can take before you get sick of watching "classics" from the '80s and '90s. ... I haven't decided when to weigh myself again, probably at the end of the week. Every eating disorder expert warns against becoming obsessed with scale watching, because addicts will do anything to make the numbers drop, from starving themselves to overexercising or simply skipping a meal or two. ... The official weights will be recorded at the clinic, but I'll let you know how things are in the interim. Once I start solid food, weight loss will not be as swift and I might remain the same until my first fill.

Well, I think I've removed the itch from my fingers (aren't you glad!) and so I'm signing off till the next time. Meanwhile, as Red Green would say, "Keep your stick on the ice."

First and foremost, I must bow to Lis and Dorothy, who not only got me to the clinic, they helped dress me in a humungous hospital gown and went practically as far as the operating table to assist me in so many ways.
They kept me laughing, too, and Lis took pictures from almost every angle so I'll be immortal in Maple Grove history. Lucky you!!!???
I don't know why she demurred at taking a nude shot - fat covered most of the "naughty bits," as a British friend used to say.
I don't remember a thing about the surgery itself -- though I love the clinic's scale because it had me two pounds lighter than mine. However, I will use mine as my progress checker because I have it on site and also because it's the one I've been marking myself with. It's a good one, the kind you find in medical offices, with a stand and the weights that hang from the scale that you move along the bar.
I woke up from surgery (which was a bit late) around 4:30, was given intravenous Demerol and Gravol, and drifted off to sleep. I felt and feel only mild discomfort so far, but then again, I'm on meds. I also have to keep coughing because there's a bit of phlegm from the breathing tube, above where the band is. Oh, and something else: I didn't get five holes, I have only four. I don't know why, and didn't discover it till this morning when the gauze was changed.
The biggest excitement, though, was discovering a wall-mounted TV in my room (I was the only patient staying the night) and I turned the game on asap, when the Leafs were down 4-1. I was thrilled to see them make it 4-3 before some Sabre swine made it 5-3, so I flipped the channels, decided nothing else was worth watching and went back to sleep.
Needless to say, I made several forays down the hall and around the corner to the bathroom during the night as the liquids in the IV kept me hydrated fairly well.
The staff was so organized that I've already got the dates for my three - and hopefully only - fills, starting the 29th of April and going into late May.
I'm heading to the couch now to try to read or something, while trying to fend off the dogs, who want to sniff everything whether it's in sight or not.
Zeke is already ticked that I've barricaded the end of the couch where I sit and has tried to eat the wood legs of the chair I'm using for that. So, we'll bring in a plastic lawn chair and stop that little game. Update: He's trying to gnaw on the plastic legs, but we've got lots of chairs and plastic is much less appealing to him than wood.
I probably won't blog again for a bit: tomorrow or the next day. I'm on clear fluids through Tuesday, so that should be easy to manage.

Today is my five-holey day. I'm off at 11:30 for surgery at 2 p.m. in Toronto.
And now, the physical update: Glucose this a.m. was 5.7, up a bit but I took the reading about 1.5 hours after I'd got up at 6, so it's natural for it to rise during the day, plus I'd eaten more yesterday as recommended because it's going to be fluids only for a week or so.
My starting weight: 347 pounds on Friday, March 13, 2009.
Today's weight: 333.5 pounds, so I'm down 13.5 before the band even is inserted. For Leaf fans, that's halfway between Mats Sundin and Dave Keon. Mats is my ultimate sweetie, but I have to lose more than his jersey number or even his age. I want to weigh 140 when this is all over, but that probably will be after cosmetic surgery to remove all the excess skin I will have. I'm very hopeful my doctors will be able to persuade OHIP that I need to have it done for my knees and diabetes, and for the continued health of my heart.
Meanwhile, I had two examples this a.m. that God has a Monty Python sense of humour. First, when I was shampooing, I noticed for about the third time that there were no suds. I usually have a shower twice a week with a caregiver, and I'd not given it too much thought or checked into it. Today, I decided to read the small print at the back. It turns out that Andy bought me conditioner instead! So, after he scrambled to bring up some shampoo from the downstairs shower, I finally washed my hair.
The second example of God's laughter: There's a Leaf game tonight against Buffalo and I won't be able to watch it!!! This is a calamity. However, I am packing a radio so I can listen to it, even if I'm sleepy. Thank heavens for small electronics and ear buds.
This all fits into a pattern for me: I was born the night of a Leaf game, and my dad had to keep leaving the waiting room to ask what the score was because they didn't have TVs in hospitals then. I believe someone had a radio out at the nursing station or something.
And thus began my lifelong affair with my honeys in blue and white.
I must sign off now: I don't want to do any more harm to my eye. It's finally feeling a little better and I need to rest it.
Most especially, though, I want to ask you for your prayers today, and to thank you again for all the generosity, support and caring you have shown. I depend on all of it tremendously.
God bless you all many times over.

I won't be blogging at all till the day of the surgery, I suspect, because my right eye is very inflamed because of straining to see the computer clearly through what are now faulty glasses.
And I can't go out and buy new ones for various reasons: cost and waiting for my diabetes to finally be settled. If my glucose levels keep getting lower, my prescription will change even more. And I need to see what going off my meds will do, too. I'll have to ask my optometrist after the surgery what he would recommend.
I obviously can't go around with the wrong glasses; the pain from the eyestrain gives me severe pain in and around the eye, including my sinuses, which are a weak spot for me.
So, while I won't be writing while squinting for a bit, I'll be back!

This is Day 10 of my pre-op menu plan, and though I don't intend to weigh myself till Friday (surgery at 2 p.m.), there have already been some major changes in my health.
My blood-sugar readings are way down, and I'm very pleased. I didn't start taking them till the past Friday, to give the no-fat, high-protein, very low-carb meal plan time to take effect. On Friday, my waking glucose level (after only a couple of hours sleep) was 6.2. Yesterday, after a full night's sleep (thank heavens!), it was 5.7, and today it was a fabulous 4.3. Anything below four is considered heading toward the too-low range, so after I recover from the surgery I will visit my endocrinologist to see if I can go off my meds. That would be wonderful news.
The lower levels have had a side-effect: My 1.5-year-old glasses are too strong now. I have gone back to my old trifocals, recommended for work. They are much clearer for distance, but not quite right for the computer. The reading area of the lens allows me to see the screen properly, but I will need to put it on a thick book to raise it or my neck is going to freeze my head in an upward direction.
As for the surgery itself, there will be five holes: one near my navel for the camera (talk about reality TV), and two higher up on each side of my stomach for the instruments. Bandages will come off about seven days later, with me removing them at home.
Then there's a recovery period, not too long though, I hope. I do have a high pain tolerance, so perhaps it will be easier for me, though I certainly won't refuse the pain killers.
After five weeks, I get my first fill of saline solution. The wait is to allow everything to heal and to let the band settle into place properly.
There will be a port in the band just under my skin where a thin needle will be used to insert a small amount of saline. Most people require three to four fills to hit their so-called sweet spot, where they can eat properly and without difficulty while losing weight. These fills or defills (if needed) are free for three years, which is plenty of time to adjust to different weight levels.
My posse of Lis and Dorothy will be taking me to the clinic this week, and Andy will get me very early Saturday morning. I need to stay overnight because I have sleep apnea, and they want to make sure there are no complications, what with the anesthesia and all.
For more info and to maybe answer any questions you might have, I suggest a visit to slimband.com -- the clinic's website. It is very helpful and has lots of inspiration.